Australian Harvard

Well you know how the saying goes… “Time flies when you teach a man to fish, and there’s no ‘I’ in team…” or something like that. So much has happened since the last time I wrote, so please, stop working, I’m more important.

Classes have started, introducing me to the smallest iota of the real world that I have encountered so far in my Australian endeavors. I am taking the most ridiculous classes I could find in the course catalog, including Australian Sport in the Modern Era and Australian Pop Culture. The way classes are arranged here at Bond University is much different than what I’m used to at home. We have a 2 or 3 hour lecture per class every week, as well as a 1 hour tutorial. You can imagine how much I inappropriately laughed when I heard my professor refer to a tutorial as a “toot” the first time. And the second time. But classes are boring so that’s all I’m ever going to divulge on Australian academia. Except for one more thing, we have recently found out that Bond University is one of the top schools in Australia. A few natives even referred to it as Australia’s Harvard. Who knew? I guess that’s why everyone else who is here is here for Business, Law, or Medicine, and I’m the ass who’s here to take 4 introductory level courses. When in Rome, I guess. Thanks mom and dad.

Last week a bunch of us kids went out on a booze cruise. Which, for some of you elders, is simply a boat ride around a harbor on which we consume as much soda and popcorn as possible while watching movies and playing tag. It was really fun. We were supposed to get a free drink at every bar we went to after that as part of the package we had. I guess we got free drinks, but they were all shot glasses of cranberry juice. That is not a joke. Still a very fun night though.

I was lucky enough to attend another pub crawl this most recent weekend. Here are a few things about going out in Australia that I’ve noticed so far:
-Don’t go unless you want to scream a lot on the bus.
-Don’t go unless you want to dance (I know).
-If you don’t like either of the above, the kebabs at the end of the night will make up for it, as well as account for your stanky breath for the next day.
This particular pub crawl we went on was advertised and sponsored by the school. It’s crazy how much this school has that Bridgewater doesn’t, including an on-campus bar and these things called parking spots. It’s really a dream. Anyways, back to the pub crawl. We were supplied tie-dyed t-shirts to sport for the night as our ticket for free entry, popcorn, and movies, I’ll get back to that. Going out to pubs in Australia is basically like showering and getting all cleaned up, just to go play basketball in a bikram yoga classroom. Seriously I sweat like a jockey in a sauna when I’m at bars here. Needless to say, our tie-dyed shirts had seeped into our pores, causing our bodies the next morning to be a wonderful combination of fluorescent yellow and green. True story.

Furthermore, I have been playing beach volleyball for upwards of 3 hours about 4 or 5 times a week. I am trying to represent the birthplace of the sport to the best of my ability, but again, the sweat. Sweat seems to be the overarching theme of my experience so far in Australia. I think it adds character though.

Fireworks on Lake Orr in the middle of campus were a treat as well. They were only 5 minutes long, but boy were they the best 5 minutes of fireworks I’ve ever witnessed. It’s like it skipped the crappy parts and just went straight to the finale. It was a special time for everyone to enjoy. Additionally, for any and all of you whom I am certain were concerned, I have found the nearest Mexican restaurant and I plan on going there until On The Border is within 10 miles of me. You can breathe easy now.

As in the last blog, here are a few more interesting facts about Australia that you might find interesting:
-There’s on-the-spot fines for everything, such as not wearing a bike helmet, bringing your dog on the beach, drunk driving. You can get fined for pretty much doing anything you can control while drunk, including but not limited to, cars, bikes, roller blades, skateboards, even pogo sticks. A man got fined a few months ago for operating a horse drunk; it was the first case of its kind in over 30 years.
-Trash cans in Australia are harder to find than weapons of mass destruction.
-2 flushes: left one’s for #1, right one’s for #2.
-Mr. Kane’s Fahrenheit to Celsius conversion has helped me leaps and bounds.
-Walking to class can be a treacherous feat. I want to walk on the right side of everyone because that’s how I’m used to driving. However, everyone else absolutely does not want to play that game.
-There’s a $150 fine for jumping into Lake Orr, the lake in the middle of our campus that is in no way blocked off my any sort of fence or barrier. Additionally, there are bull sharks in there. God delivered them, Bond University signed for them… World keeps spinnin’.

That’s all for now folks. I hope you enjoyed wasting your time reading about my life. Tonight is the 2nd Annual “Secret Location Party.” Last year it was at Australia’s Big Brother house, so I’m assuming the location this year will be pretty kickass. Going on a surf trip this weekend, and some of us are working on getting the details together for a trip to New Zealand! Thanks for reading… here’s another video for you to enjoy… (togs = bathing suit in Australia). Don’t forget to comment! Miss you all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-Lx2ihpGbc